A major part of accepting an illness and the treatment required to manage it is also accepting the fact that life is now different. You cannot simply reverse things to how they were before you were symptomatic- there is no magic pill that have time machine qualitiess. You may have to sacrifice certain things for the stability that comes with proper medication usage.
It’s no secret that hypomania is a seductive lie, but there’s another falsity, and although it may not be as dangerous, it does its share of damage. This is that medication restores you to the person you were before your illness. It doesn’t. Medication relieves symptoms, but it also introduces side effects. Taking a pill means accepting a new normal, and maybe shedding a few tears for the way things were before. –LW on bp
It can be difficult to accept “a new normal”. For some, this resistance may take form in the idea that they are not actually ill.
Maybe the doctors got the diagnosis wrong.
Maybe the illness isn’t even an illness, but something positive.
Maybe the “illness” is just an extension of the self, not a disease.
Maybe I can manage it without help, without therapy or medications.
Maybe medications are for the weak.
Maybe I will stop my meds and the episodes won’t come back.
Maybe the stability isn’t worth the side effects.
I’ve gone through all of these thoughts at some point during the course of my illness. However, I now think that it is best to accept that a) I have an illness that b) I should not attempt to manage on my own [without professional help] and c) the professional help will likely come in the form of medications for the rest of my life. I have to accept the new normal and learn to let go of the past. It is time to move on.