Back in 2014, I had my first personal experience with mental illness.
The depression hit me really hard that summer, caught me completely off guard.
I had never experienced trouble with my mental health.
I didn’t know how to deal with the symptoms which were turning me into someone I was no longer familiar with…
Someone who constantly felt consumed by guilt.
Someone who felt unworthy of her friends and family.
Someone suddenly obsessed with her own death.
I had never really thought about my own death seriously.
All of a sudden, it was all that I could think about.
For hours of each day, my thoughts were of suicidal ideation.
There was no “off” switch for this newfound obsession of mine.
I didn’t know what to do about it, so I just kept it to myself.
I turned to the internet and unfortunately it has a dark side.
There are sites created which actively encourage suicide.
There are Google chats which feature numerous ways to commit suicide.
There are sites with step by step instructions on how to die.
The dark side of the internet drew me in.
I was fascinated in this new dark world of intense pain, isolation, depression and suicide.
Unfortunately, for those seeking to end their own lives, it is way too easy.
I wish that HELP was easier to find… rather than ways to help with committing suicide…
If I had the power to shut down all of those sites, I would.
I am limited in my power to reach out to people, but I hope that those struggling know that their pain will pass.
They are not alone.