Exhaustion. 2 weeks of it. I’m tired.

It’s been 2 weeks.

 

2 weeks of an overwhelmingly overactive brain.

2 weeks of racing thoughts and rapid speech.

2 weeks of sleeping for 3 hours a night.

2 weeks of monitoring my own behavior to ensure that I stay within the “normal” range of behavior associated with my personality.

2 weeks of being observant to an extreme degree.

2 weeks of realizing in the late afternoon that I hadn’t eaten anything at all that day and not really caring.

2 weeks of over-analyzing. Every. Single. Thing. Over. And. Over. Again.

2 weeks of intensified “Type A” characteristics, possibly even OCPD level.

2 weeks of not being able to relax, constantly in an elevated state and not being able to have a clear head. At all. Ever.

2 weeks of becoming increasingly fixated on solving the mystery that is my mental health diagnosis, of solving the complex logical puzzle that is my life, personality, symptoms, and health.

2 weeks of obsession. Of research. Of analysis. Of interviewing and making lists. Of creating diagrams and categories. Of trying to see a pattern of behavior. Of trying to distance myself in order to have a clearer idea of who I am. Of having a scientific psychologist approach to assessing my own behavioral characteristics.

 

Honestly, it has kind of been 2 weeks of an overwhelming, personal hell.

 

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